The ugly truth, How to lose a guy in 10 days, Ten things I hate about you, and Nottinghill are very few of many Romantic comedies we all are familiar with and watched countless times. Romantic movies are a lot of people’s guilty pleasure. They keep us engrossed and it is with no doubt that these movies have taught us a thing or two about love. No matter how much we deny it, but at some point there was a movie or a particular scene that might have made you think about how perfect things were in it and wish you had a similar experience. Mine was in the ending of The ugly truth. Every time we want to feel better, we watch a rom-com or two. When we are heartbroken and depressed we watch a rom-com. When we want to relax and cuddle, we watch one of those. Romantic comedies are the quintessential movies to put you in the mood for love, whether those movies can make you laugh, cry, or swoon.
Overtime, romantic comedies may have taught us a lesson about hope, faith and trust, but there have been times in which it has left us with unrealistic expectations and somehow changed our vision on love and relationships. They made us set some standards when it comes to finding someone in real life as we knowingly or unknowingly take references from such stories. Most rom-coms we watch, a girl and a guy fall in love and live happily ever after. Even with the odds against them, everything works out in the end. This is what every romantic comedy wants you to believe. However, is real life that simple?
When he fills the room with more flowers than you can count, when he chases you down the airport to express his never-ending love, staying up until 2AM over the phone every night or eating pizza on the floor at midnight. In romantic comedies, relationships are full of romance, intimacy and passion. They make us believe that love is solely built on fate and divine intervention. We see lots of compliments, gifts and affection predominantly initiated by men. However, this isn’t a real portrayal of a real, healthy relationship which involves much realer and scrappier things like acceptance, honesty, compromise and hard work.
Everyone wants a perfect love. Falling in love with one another after the first glimpse and finding your soulmate. Everyone wants a significant other that they know will be there for them no matter what. Sometimes we get lucky and love does find its way. Sometimes the guy you fought with over the last pair of gloves ends up being your boyfriend. Your best friend or your enemy might become your lover. Everything is fine and dandy until reality kicks in. Seeing how Harry confesses his love to sally at midnight (When Harry met Sally Movie) can make anyone believe someone has the potential for grand gestures and unwavering love. As a result, we are unable to accept our partners for who they are. Believing you can fix someone into becoming the “perfect” partner is not an example of love finds its way. It is a sacrifice of happiness over the idea based on couples who would have probably broken up had they not been fated by a movie script.
It is very important that we let go of this picture perfect idea of love, not only to have healthier relationships with others, but also to spare ourselves from disappointment. Realizing that someone is not the person you thought they could be is a massive heartbreak. Imperfect and unconditional love is a harsh wakeup call no one is ready for. That being said, it is up to us to let go of the idea of what love could be and accept love for what it is. Having fights, getting your heartbroken, arguments, frustration, disappointments and every little other bump in the road are necessary in order to be sure that the one you are with now is the one you want to spend your life with.
“Shouldn’t we hold out for the person who doesn’t just tolerate our little quirks but actually kinda likes them? “ Ted Mosby- How I Met your Mother
It’s only when we begin to accept our partners for every imperfection and quirk that we can truly value love. Just like life, love has its ups and downs, and accepting this makes it easier on everyone to have a healthy relationship.